Pretending to be spies

Humurous take on aid work in the field which supposedly isn’t really all that different from espionage:

1. Your contract swears you to secrecy
2. You are sent to the world’s hell-holes on short notice and arrive at the airport as the last foreigners are leaving out of fear for their lives. On the plus side, your insurance covers repatriation of your corpse.
3. You have a code name (at least on the radio)
4. You can’t tell anyone back home what you really do (because they usually don’t want to hear it)
5. Everyone else thinks your job is adrenaline-fuelled adventurism when in reality it’s 95% deskwork
6. You love disguising yourself as a local to the point where you’ve gone so native that you forget where you’re from
7. You have mastered the basics of a smattering of obscure languages
8. You look damn sexy with a gun in your hand
9. You take orders from someone in a nice office who has no clue about life in the field, and you’re expected to implement those orders unquestioningly
10. Your only outlet is commiseration with other people in your profession
11. Your most valuable work is done at cocktail parties (fundraising)
12. Being kidnapped is almost a rite of passage, in which case your employer voids all responsibility for you
13. You collect intel on the local political/security context and keep tabs on your rivals with funny names (whom you occasionally sleep with)
14. You wish every day you could give up your job and return to a normal life back home but your years in the trenches have left you an emotional wreck and suited for only one calling: assassin/proposal writer
15. The context, title, and objectives may change, but each mission follows the same tired plotline
16. Villains constantly devise agonizing forms of torture that they think will break you but from which you inevitably escape at the last minute. This torture is called grant writing.
17. The public only hears about your work when you fail.

From Stuff Expat Aid Workers Like.


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